Thoughts on aliens

I was deep in thought the other day sitting in my thinking spot, i.e. on the toilet, and I began to ponder just how small we are in comparison to the entire universe. My thoughts turned to exterterrestial life. I mean, why would God create vast numbers of galaxies with no life to inhabit it, no one to enjoy it. I'm not saying aliens exist. I'm just saying consider the possibility.
If aliens do exist, what do they think of us? I picture them as the two old men in the balcony on the Muppet Show, making smart remarks about the idiotic things we do. I wonder if they feel watching us the way I feel watching THe Hills. As a species, we are pretty moronic, we do make a lot of stupid choices, and we are kinda arrogant.
I wonder, if aliens do exist, if the whole alien abduction thing is just like a way to mess with us, kind of like a big cosmic sticking wedgie. Think about it. They never abduct anyone who could be considered a reliable source. And what is the point of probing someone other than to be irritating? Plus, the stories about women being impregnated and giving birth to alien babies before being released back on earth sound a little ridiculous to me. Do you really think aliens would risk tainting their offspring by mixing their dna with ours? That would be like mating with your mentally retarded first cousin. It just doesn't make sense.
I'm not too worried about alien invasion. That would be like canceling your favorite television show, and I think we provide way too much entertainment to be cancelled. However, if aliens do exist, i'd like to team them up with Joel McHale, David Sedaris, and Jim Gaffigan and just be a fly on the wall.